The Sleeping Satan
by Mr. Me2
Summary: Ever since he met her, he had admired her, dreamt about her, thought what it would be like to have her with him, just to hold her, to watch her sleeping face. Now his time had come, and… 'Merciful Dende, get me out of here' (The horror part is sarcasm.) One-shot.


I only spend, like, a small part of three evenings on this (though MrChuckMan did help me on the third evening), so it's probably not up to my usual standard.

But hey, I write for fun. And this was fun to write.

Though I must admit, I did disappoint myself. Oh well, uploading it anyway.

Have fun.

* * *

Satan Mansion. Dead of night. The moonlight shone through a small gap in the curtains.

Here Gohan was, in a place that he was quite sure many guys his age had dreamed of. In the bed of none other than the illustrious Videl Satan.

Oh, nothing M-rated or anything, just trying to sleep. 'Trying' being the operative word. What time was it anyway? Must have passed two o'clock by now.

How did he end up here? He wasn't entirely sure himself.

This morning he had gone over to her place, to help her practise her energy control, chat with Mr. Buu, who had moved in as well, and say hi to Hercule.

He ended up staying for lunch. And then for dinner as well. And then night had fallen. The four decided to watch a movie. Well, Videl decided, they were dragged along. She picked a good movie though, so no one complained.

But it was one about martial arts, and by the end, Buu had grown a few tads exited, so Gohan decided to have a small match with him. Nothing Earth-shattering, or even room shattering, since they did it in the personal gym in the mansion.

In fact, he was pretty sure that Buu thought they were playing patty cake. Which made it all the more embarrassing when he worked up a bit of a sweat.

He wasn't sure if it was in kindness or sympathy, but Hercule did offer to let him shower before he went home, and let him borrow some of his things to change into. Nothing fancy, just some white pants.

Videl was already taking a shower of her own at the time.

After the shower Gohan tracked down Videl's energy, figuring it would be impolite to just leave without saying goodbye.

She was in her room, and he found her sitting zoned out on her bed. To her defence, it was late, and she had been training pretty hard today. She had changed to her pyjamas, dark blue with rockets on them, and was watching TV.

Well, watching is a strong word. It was more like, looking in the general direction of the TV with half open eyes. She probably had wanted to be a good host and see him off, but it looked like her long day had caught up with her.

She did notice when he opened the door though. And gave him the sleepiest smile he'd ever seen. And asked him if he was leaving.

Yeah, it was past time he headed home, or his mother was going to get strange ideas.

But there was something she had wanted to ask him. And she hadn't had the opportunity, since her father didn't leave the two of them alone all day.

The guy did realise that if the two wanted to be up to something, they'd just fly off, right? Clearly not.

She mentioned for Gohan to sit down next to her. And he did so. He could smell the soap and shampoo she had used. And he asked what it was she wanted to ask.

She just looked at his bare torso. And told him he was good-looking. Hearing her say that in a sleepy voice, wearing childish pyjamas, it was just so cute. Far cuter than he had even imagined her being.

Then she asked if he liked her. Just like that, right out of f*cking nowhere. Then she added it being platonically, of course. Even Gohan didn't fall for that one.

So, one heart attack later, Gohan admitted he did enjoy her company, and kept it at that. To be fair, he hadn't really considered it yet. Even when his mother implied it when Videl came over for her flying lessons, and the big hug back on the lookout.

Though oblivious, he wasn't that stupid. He did notice the change in her attitude towards him. He just wasn't sure if it was her finding out his tricks were, in fact, very real and dangerous, him being the actual hero of the Cell Games, having died and been revived changed her perspective a little, her actually starting to nourish a little crush, or a combination of any of those.

It didn't really matter though. Right now he was pretty sure she was crushing. And he wasn't so sure he wasn't himself.

After the question it had fallen quiet. Videl let herself lean against him, letting her head rest against his shoulder.

He had figured he really had to go home now, but… well… he didn't want too.

It felt kinda nice, sitting here like this. In hindsight, he really regretted not packing up and leaving, but then again, it wasn't like he could bring himself to leave right now either, so the point was moot anyway.

He watched the TV with her. It was a program about the effects of Hercule Satan on the crime rate, and Videl's influence later on.

Quite interesting, actually. But soon he found himself to be the only one watching. Videl had closed her eyes, and her energy had became low and stable.

He tried to move away, but she started to slide down, leaning on him rather than just against him. So he moved the arm she was leaning against backwards, holding her up with his other hand, and let her rest against his chest.

At this point he had decided to just lay her down and then leave, but the sleeping girl had other plans. She wrapped her arms around his chest, and clung on with a strength Gohan wasn't quite sure had been there when she was awake.

So he slowly let himself fall backwards, until he was flat on the bed. He turned off the TV, which was still running, and pretty much decided to wait for her to let go of him, or to get off of him, or to wake up, or give him any opportunity to leave.

Fool that he was. That was three hours ago, and felt like three lifetimes.

He had actually dozed off a little at first, and dreamt of spending time with her in the forest, chatting and flying and having fun. Then she decided to whip out a chainsaw and started chopping up trees. Loudly.

He had protested, but to no avail.

Somewhere at this point dream had started to shift back to reality, but the sound never left. It came from just over his chest.

Yep, Videl Satan snores. And not just any snore, no, it sounded like she got some kind of demon down there trying to escape the fiery pits of hell.

He wasn't entirely awake until she moved her knee up in a jolt. Right into the sweet spot. With his power there wouldn't be any damage, but that still send his mind hurling across the voids of space.

After some time, which he wasn't quite sure he was consciousness for, he opened his eyes. That horrible sound edged itself into his brain, driving out all possible distracting thoughts. All that was left were thoughts of chainsaws, stone drills, packs of wild bears and trains thundering through tunnels.

Of course, it wasn't just the snore. Soon they were accompanied by dissatisfied groans on the exhale as well.

It was at this point that he felt something trickle down the side of his chest. Feeling weary, he finally looked down.

Up until now, when he had thought of her sleeping face, it was the one he had seen earlier this night. But that cute face had been replaced.

Her mouth was wide agape, forming a nice little loudener for any sound she made. Her black hair hung half over her face, and some went into her open mouth.

An open mouth of course meant nothing to hold back saliva. There wasn't just a little of it either, it was like a large pool, dripping off his chest on both sides.

And, of course, she was still hanging on to him as if he was her only salvation in this cruel world. No chance of escaping that lock. Not without waking her up. Though, waking her up was starting to seem like a better plan by the second.

She stirred. Gohan could feel a jolt of hope rush through him. It was squashed by the jolt of pain, as her knee hit the mark once again with pinpoint precision.

But she also stopped snoring. He took at as an improvement. Videl shifted uncomfortably, and closed her mouth. Though she didn't actually wake up.

Good, maybe he could catch a bit of sleep, and explain to his mother in the morning that…

 _PAAAAARRP!_

A distinct ripping sound came from under the covers, followed by Videl laying herself back down and letting out a satisfied groan. She even smiled. All without waking up.

Ah well, he supposed it was only natural, and it's the silent ones that are the worst, so it wasn't really that much of a…

His breath got stuck in his throat as the scent of a thousand rotting carcasses seeped up from under the blanket. Holy Kami, what did she eat? He had smelled weeks old corpses with a more pleasant aroma. Seriously, she should go see a doctor.

Ah well, at least she was quiet now, so maybe he…

" _GGGRRROOOOOOAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOAAAAA!_ " She snored.

Of course not.

By now he was convinced she was possessed or replaced by a demon from the depths on the underworld. Or both.

Or maybe Babidi had returned to take revenge on him?

At this point, he'd love to go a few more rounds with Majin Buu. The evil one. And he was pretty sure that Buu would make for a better bed-mate too.

Whelp, she isn't called a Satan for no reason, that sleeping habit must be an ancient torture passed down the family for generations.

No wonder Hercule was a single parent, and never managed to remarry, despite all of his money.

He sighed. He did not seriously just think that, did he? Besides, how would the man react to seeing the two of them here? Would he be angry, and set Buu on Gohan?

At this point, Gohan would actually welcome the distraction. Anything was better than Videl the Sleeping Satan.

If only he could reach his books, reach a computer, reach anything that would let him look up on how to combat this situation. The knowledge that all of the world solutions were just outside of his grasp only made it more frustrating.

(A soft voice echoed all the way from the Lookout: "YOU CAN FLY! AND MOVE THINGS WITH YOUR MIND!")

He glanced down. She actually had her mouth mostly closed now. He saw her closed eyes, felt her breath, both the movement and the sound vibrate into his chest. He felt her weight, her warmth, her softness.

Waking her? No, he couldn't. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. For all the torture it brought him, she was still sleeping quite soundly.

He thought for a few seconds. Wasn't snoring caused by a bad sleeping position?

Taking a bit of a gamble, he moved her head, shifting her face upwards to free the airways. And he shifted her a little more to the side, to straighten her out.

Now it should be less noisy, he hoped.

Indeed, no snore, but instead a she made deep sigh, putting the putrid fumes of hell straight in his nose.

She also started biting him.

So he took her by the jaw and pushed her away.

She shot up immediately, eyes open. For a second there he thought he had woken her.

"I will kick your arse!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, magnified by both the silence before and the echo of the room.

Then her eyes closed again. She fell back down with a thud, moving her knee up for the third time while at it, and started warming up the noise machinery again.

She was like the hydra, for every problem solved two more took its place.

'Merciful Dende, get me out of here!' Gohan nearly cried.

His answer came in the form of a punch in the side from the demon-possessed demon on top of him.

With a deep sigh he resigned himself to a long, long, long, endless night.

* * *

Just as he was about to pass through the gates of heaven, where the heroes of old were standing ready to greet him, a new sound came ripping through his head.

The loud annoying ring of an alarm clock.

Followed by a sharp movement on his chest, which thankfully didn't end up in his manliness again, but did end with a crunch, and the abrupt stop of the sound.

And all other sounds, for that matter.

It was replaced by a new one. The sound of a young lady not wanting to wake up. Of course, this young lady had been sleeping with her mouth open all night, and her throat was not both dry and hoarse, making it sound more like the growl of a Bengal Tiger. Which was still an improvement.

He looked down, just as she pushed herself up. Her dark eyes met with her blue ones.

"Good morning Gohan." She said hoarsely, sounding a lot like a man.

She got off, out, and stumbled towards her private bathroom. Yeah, she had her own personal bathroom. Go figure.

For a second there Gohan had been worried about her reaction, but it looked like he could get out alive after all.

"GOHAN!" He heard her screeching voice, less pleasant than nails over chalkboard.

The crime fighter came running back in. This time she actually looked awake, but it didn't erase the traces of the demon she had become during the night. She didn't look good at all. Scowling, hair still in her mouth and clinging to her face, since of it was still wet, a red spot on her cheek.

Videl was not a morning person, that much was clear.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" She yelled as loudly as she possibly could.

"I was just leaving." He announced, and made for the window. Videl cut him off, glaring at him. He had a pretty good idea of what she was thinking right now, but good luck trying to explain that one.

"What the hell!" She called. "I thought you left yesterday!"

"VIDEL!" A low and familiar voice called, just as the World Champion himself came walking in. of course, he saw his lovely daughter standing at the window in her pyjamas, scowling at a guy in only his pants who looked like he desperately wanted to get out of there.

"It's not what it looks like." He tried to excuse himself.

Hercule just blinked once. "Videl, do me a favour and get dressed." He then said calmly. Way too calmly.

"I am dressed, aren't I?" She returned.

"Something other than pyjamas." Her father replied, not even looking at her. Even Gohan knew at this point what the man was after, and though he couldn't physically hurt the boy, it was definitely going to be an uncomfortable few minutes coming up.

And Videl understood as well, as she left for her personal bathroom again.

"It's not what it looks like." Gohan said once again.

" Just because you're the only guy stronger than me doesn't mean you automatically have the right to have Videl." Hercule started his rant. "This is my precious girl you're messing with, and I don't care how powerful you are, I will find a way to hurt you!"

And let's just say it didn't really improve from here.

Hercule was in the middle of his rant, something about preserving Videl's innocence, while Gohan was considering the pros and cons of blinking out of existence, when said girl came back out in her usual outfit.

"Eh, dad." She interrupted. "Don't you think you're going a little overboard?"

"You are my little girl and I will not see you taken away by this…" He swallowed the last world, pointing at Gohan.

"Relax, I'm not about to go anywhere." She sighed. Gohan got a growing suspicion this wasn't the first time Hercule had said that. She turned to Gohan. "I remember having a bit of a chat, and watching TV, but what happened after that?"

"You pretty much fell asleep on top of me right afterwards." He replied honestly.

"And you didn't go home because…?" She suggested for him to continue.

"I didn't want to wake you, and then I kind off fell asleep myself."

"Ah, ok." She shrugged.

"That's your reaction" Hercule was barely able to hold back his voice. "You just found out you spend the night sleeping in one bed with a boy, and you're ok with it?"

"Oh, I forgot." She replied, and turned to Gohan. "Did you do anything perverted while I was asleep?"

"What, no!" He protested.

Videl turned to her father. "You see, nothing happened."

"You believe him?" The man asked, outraged.

"He has less ability to lie than a three year old."

Ouch.

"You're grounded!"

"Who's gonna make me?"

"I will!"

"I can fly, you can't, love to see you try."

"I really should go home though." Gohan decided. And he promptly opened a window and flew out.

He should have done that many hours ago.

* * *

It was past afternoon, near dinnertime. Gohan laid on his back, looking at the sky, reflecting on himself.

So, apparently a sleeping Videl Satan kicks like she's fighting a thug, snores like a rusty chainsaw, breathes poison like a dragon, farts like a machinegun and drools as the Niagara Falls.

That's the opposite of cute.

But good luck explaining that one to his mother. Of course, since he didn't want to humiliate the girl he hadn't mentioned that part. But that left a little hole as to why he was tired.

And if Videl was able to pick up his inability to lie, there was no way he could deceive his mother.

So, naturally, the woman assumed she was about to become a grandmother, and no amount of 'we didn't' or 'nothing happened' could persuade her. Of course, that was after a lecture about taking responsibility for his actions as a man, and something about loyalty, and making sure to marry her before the child arrived.

Gohan wondered how his father was doing in the afterlife, and whether or not it was too early to join him.

When he could finally escape, he flew himself to the next mountain, where he planned on catching up on his lost time.

But there was one itty bitty problem.

" _GGGRRROOOOOOAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOAAAAA!_ "

The Sleeping Satan had returned.

For you see, whilst Gohan was out loafing around, Videl decided she was bored, ignored her father yelling at her that she was grounded, bribed Buu with some candy she had prepared, and flew herself over to Gohans.

But the trip was quite a bit longer than she had expected. She did spot Gohan laying on the grass, in the sun, napping, and figures that wasn't such a bad idea, and laid down next to him.

Next to him became against him, and soon back on top of him.

So here Gohan was again, underneath The Sleeping Satan. He didn't even know how she got here. Just that when he woke she was there.

He tried getting up, but she was clinging to him like a koala. A growling, biting, drooling, kicking, farting, toxic breathing koala of doom.

And once again, he just couldn't bring himself to wake her up.

Silently he cried himself to sleep.

* * *

The end.

For us. For poor Gohan, it was just the beginning.

Until he wizened up and made a wish.

And they lived happily ever after. Until Pan was born, and it turned out the demon never left Videl, but merely passed towards a new victim.

And Videl had the nerve to find it cute. As did her father. 'Like mother like daughter.' He said.

Well, Pan slept in a room on the other side of the house. That was going to the problem of whatever poor sod married her.

If only. No, Pan got a habit of wanting to sleep with daddy. Videl? She slept straight through the whole ordeal.

And no, he wasn't allowed to make another wish to 'cure' Pan, since there was nothing wrong with her.

Soon afterwards, Gohan's job got him 'involuntarily' transferred to the night shift, and everyone slept that much better ever since.

* * *

The end. Really this time.


End file.
